Imagine, if you will, my morning internal monologue...
*I'm sleepy, but I am also hungry. I just ate breakfast how am I hungry? What am I going to do for dinner tonight. I wish the kids were old enough to cook me dinner. Like a chef. They could be chef-y twins. Ugh I just remembered I have water aerobics today...should have shaved my legs. I guess it doesn't matter, maybe it will just look like they are tan. Or furry halogen bulbs...whatever. I am more worried about naked people in my personal space. Yeah! I love this song! I wonder who stole my towel last week. I should just stay home. Maybe get ice cream instead. Oh yeah, way to go Robyn, get some ice cream AND skip the gym...that's going to help your ass not jiggle when you brush your teeth. Nope, no ice cream....frozen yogurt...with fruit. That's better, right? Yeah, that's good. Yuck this traffic is horrible. Does everyone have to be on the road at this very moment in time. Hellooo, I have a schedule to keep here. If we all go the same pace at the same time, we would not be in this scenario. Yep, that's me...cutting you off. LEARN TO MERGE *&$^%! I cannot believe I just flipped the bird and its not even 8 A.M. Oh my gosh I cannot believe I let my fingernail polish get this bad. Looks gross. Hah, that's what that guy gets...the bird with grody finger nail polish. Take that to the bank. This new lotion stinks. Ugh, good lord I smell like one of the Golden Girls. Whew...I need a second opinion. It smelled good in the bottle. Aaaaand, I'm late. I wonder if it counts if I am here before my boss....crap.*
I feel like during this process I am literally on auto pilot. Like I am being teleported down Meridian, past the homing beacon of death at Krispy Kreme, through the take-your-life-in-your-hands merge from 512 to 1-5 North and suddenly...I'm at work.
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| Homing beacon of death... |
It's actually kind of fascinating....I should be studied. But first...popcorn!
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