Bringing light to a heavy situation...

...and laying it out because if I don't laugh, I will cry...

 



Birfday Smooches @ Red Robin

Steph and I @ the fair, B.T. (before twins)



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I endured great loss last night as the final thread of a 12 year relationship unraveled. Although my heart is broken and I feel like a part of me is lost, I have no choice but to focus on the positive as I refuse to be dragged down when working so hard to get up.

 

Tasty 'Porn Stars' over ice @ the gay bar

Gettin' down wit our bad selves

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What started as neighbors and budded into acquaintances eventually bloomed into a full blown friendship. One of which I had to defend throughout the years, because lets face it...she is about as polished as a Brillo pad, but was worth every argument and tear shed because the laughs are unforgettable.

 

Me - Josh - Steph

She may be going through some things right now but I hope in the end she finds what she is looking for. I will still be here, working like a dog and dealing with the wrath of the Double-Trouble twin posse in their never ending attempt to drive me into the funny farm, but here nonetheless.

 

 

 

 

Although I may not understand the motives behind what I consider to be the out-of-the-blue rejection, I have no choice but to face it with my head held high, "with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child."

 

Ghetto swimming pool @ the Fife Appt.

 

Hair today, gone tomorrow...

There is an ever occurring phenomenon that can no longer go on unpublicized and ignored. Bigfoot, The Northern Lights, Stonehenge...all of these have been explored, theorized and documented throughout time. Forgive me "Scientists" but the study of a large man covered in fur running amok through the wilderness is played out. Besides, I sleep with one next the me every night....the mystery is gone....


Lets try to focus our funds and research on more important things...



Sunday evening was winding down like it usually does, although particularly hot and stuffy, I still had to maintain my weekend rituals. I forewent laundry, forget that ish it was too damn hot, but I'll be damned if I will start my week with a unibrow that could potentially take over my hair line. I decided to unwind and cool down before bed and figured I would de-hair in a relaxing cool bubble bath.

I retrieved my "supplies" and settled into my own little reverie. After about 10 or so minutes of enjoying the silence (and being able to have the bathroom door latch without my cringing and counting down to the inevitable small fists starting to pound on the door because I have disappeared, possibly never to return again, causing an immediate search party because they seem to think my life is uber exciting and they have to know what I am doing 24/7 for fear they will miss out on some fascinating aspect of my life. I, for one, understand as I am most definitely my most alluring when I am suffering from dairy consumption and 'facinating' non-stop for the rest of the night leading to a drop in pant size) decide I should get to gettin'.

I snag my little hand held mirror and best pair of tweezers and set to work. Bringing the mirror close for a minute...then far...then to one side...and then the other...checking to make sure all offending hairs are annihilated. When completely satisfied I hold the mirror out to admire my masterpiece. But hello, whats this? Obviously I have a strand of hair that has escaped from the elastic band on top of my head and is stuck to the side of my face. I reach up to brush it away but my face is wet as are my fingers from the bath so it seems to be offering some resistance. Finally I utilize the tweezers I have at close reach only to find to my complete and utter horror...its attached.

WTF?! How is this possible?! This thing is like two inches long! Are you telling me I have been walking around with a hair growing out of my face at what must be a record breaking pace and no one has noticed?! Much less myself?! There is no way it did not catch some beam of light and glisten enough to call attention to itself. Did it just appear at that length over night? You would feel something like that, wouldn't you? I...just...don't...understand...

I am taken aback as I examine the offending follicle and go over possibilities in my head. Is it like the booger/something in your teeth theory? You see someone has it but would be embarrassed to tell them and even more afraid of them being embarrassed yet you continue to stare? Would I tell someone and how would that conversation go?

"Oh, hang on you have a little hair on your face....no the other way...down...down....here, just let me get it for yo...oh....oh my...ummm...yeeeeaaaah...." **clears throat and glances around uncomfortably**


So, I present my case. Leave Loch Ness alone and I am sure the mating rituals of South African fruit flies can wait another season. We need to pool our resources and get to the bottom of this before someone else is scared and confused. If I have helped one person by coming forward with my traumatic experience, I will feel like my embarrassment has not been in vain...I will be holding a support group Wednesday nights at Pizza Hut so we can eat our feelings together.

I feel a little like Sally Struthers or Sara McLaughlin promoting a cause. Just need some sad music, cute dogs and dirty kids....I really should have been in PR.

Fluffy & Fabulous

Ice cream....yes please?

As many know I have been struggling with weight loss for some time now. I seem to make headway only to revert to old ways with every excuse in the book. I think I have discovered part of the problem, I get bored very easily with the work out routine.

This would make me poop...

A friend and co-worker of mine is equally struggling in this journey and brought a rather interesting work out to my attention. Although thoroughly disturbing, it had me researching other random and incongruous exercise ideas.

Are you, a master-shake-weight-er?

Tug it...tug it good....

Hot, Nude Yoga; offering public classes in a city near you...?

It claims to benefit in health and community as it brings people together in a non-sexual non-threatening space. Non-sexual I get, non-threatening...not so much. Yoga in and of itself can look a little off putting at times, but lets add hoo-has and man-tackle into the mix and its just plain disturbing. There are just some things you can't unsee....::shudder::




I have to give credit where credit is due in this next one. My aforementioned friend/co-worker dug up this little preternatural delight.

It brought up a very interesting discussion of working out in the nude...yay or nay? I think there may be something to be said for nude work outs if you are just working on toning up a little and already have a smaller frame. I, myself, have a little more nooks and crannies.

If you are of the larger breast variety, try explaining your black eye at work the next day. For those of us without this blessing, I don't know about you, but I would rather starve to death in my room than have to call 911 because my elbow is stuck in my belly button.

So from pole dancing to karaoke cycling (its a real thing!) my eyes have been opened to the odd and random possibilities of exercise. Now if only my gym would offer hula hooping.

Tonight! = My sister and my first attempt at Zumba...

 ...and if all else fails, I'm turning turn to Vera.

Children's Books; moulding our generations youth

Move over Harry Potter and step aside Ramona & Beezus as I have found some children's books that are designed for our youth in ways your authors and publishing houses could never fathom.


Let me preface this with a warning; the following is disturbingly hilarious. Not recommended for the faint of heart or those with weak constitutions...lets move on, shall we?


Surfing the web on my lunch break today I came across some children's books that I cannot believe made it through the rough draft phase of development and past the stuffy 'family values' politics in publishing. I love how dementedly fabulous the imaginations are of today's authors. (Reference; 50 Shade's of Grey and the Hunger Games trilogies...masochistic dominating sadistical romantic love story and a world that relies on the children to represent their cities in a brutal fight to the death for entertainment) The following, in my opinion, take the cake.


In no particular order, we dive in.


#1. Pop-up Book of Phobias - by Gary Greenberg

Buy it here...

I believe they call it, "exposure therapy" and its intended to make you face your fears head on by slowly reintroducing those things into your life. This however seems like a more deliberate in-your-face approach. "Come on kids, we're going to read a bed time story..." BAM!

#2. Go the F**k to Sleep: The Perfect Bedtime Story For Tired Parents - by Adam Mansbach

Buy it here...

All parents can attest to the "JUST GO THE F*CK TO SLEEP" feeling after a long day at work and an exhausting evening trying to go through the routine of homework, dinner, baths, etc. You just...want...to....relax. But from the constant who, what, where, when, why interrogations and bickering over who's arm is longer or who is cheating at Go Fish, sometimes you cannot help but give into the frustration and spiral into despair.

I believe you can also get a delightful book-on-tape version read by Samuel L. Jackson.

Watch it ~~~> http://youtu.be/CseO1XRYs9I

#3. That's Not Your Mommy Anymore: A Zombie Tale Teaches Children A Valuable Lesson - by Matt Mogk

Buy it here...

What does one say about this? With all the crazies turning their basements into underground bunkers and preparing for the coming of a Zombie Apocalypse, it does not surprise me that there would be a market for such a book.

Other notable Zombie mention...

#4. The Taking Tree - by Shrill Travesty 

Buy it here...

The Giving Tree was a wonderful story of a boy and his tree, the tree that gave and gave and gave to make sure the boy was happy. This seems to be more from the perspective of the tree....and she was kind of a bitch....

 

 

#5. Bedtime Stories For Children You Hate - by Antoinette Bergin

Buy it here...

Offering stories like, “Your Upstairs Neighbor Kills People” and “Blood in the Sink” you are pretty much guaranteed to traumatize and/or screw up any child you deem worthy of a story or two from this little charmer.

In conclusion...has your son lost yet another lunch box at school? Maybe your daughter is throwing one too many fits about brushing her teeth....well, next time you are on a family outing to your local library, maybe look into one or two of these for your little ones...

...that'll teach 'em.

Nifty Thrifty

I have discovered SAVINGs savings savings (lame echo effect) she screamed into the night...

I have never really taken the thought of thrift store shopping seriously. I mean, yeah I used to go because it was a great place for old records and books and such, but the idea of second hand undies or lingerie freaked (s) me out.

This being said, I may now have an addiction.

Hello, my name is Robyn...and I am addicted to thrift store shopping. HI ROBYN.

Its started innocently enough. I was looking for some nice inexpensive tank tops for this heat wave we have coming. I realized Brennan only had two, and one was rapidly getting too small. (Belly shirts are soooo 90's) So I started looking online first but was not having the best of luck. I am sorry, but I am not going to pay 10 bucks for a children's tank top that they will grow out of in a couple months. I can get a T-shirt for that price and it has sleeves...

Anyway - I Googled thrift stores in the area so I could just explore that option. The first one I visited was in Tacoma off of Jefferson. It was a Goodwill Outlet. For those who don't know, that means its a Goodwill where they don't feel like sorting the crap that comes in and you pay for the clothes you buy by the pound. Yeah....this is foreign to me. Its a shit-ton of large bins with random stuff barely sorted by relativity. Toys, clothes, housewares, etc. I started digging through a couple and found a Coach shoe (one) and a Channel purse. Yeah, talk about treasure hunt! I did not end up purchasing anything and left in somewhat of a hurry. My accompanying companion was freaked out but a smelly gentleman that may or may not have had bugs...

Gift for the 'other mother' :)

We then made the jaunt to the Goodwill on 38th by the Tacoma mall. Still not a lot of luck, a few tanks for Bre but boys clothes were seldom. (My friend has a theory its because boys are so rough they wear out their clothes faster, hence - not as many hand-me-downs)

Yup...its Teddy himself...

I pick up the kids feeling a little defeated as my quest for coolness has been relatively unfruitful. I decide to make one last stop, the Goodwill on South Hill. O-M-G....talk about reaping the benefit's of persistence. I managed to get some tanks, shorts and even a nice lightly isolated rain coat for Bre (brand new) all for under 20 bucks. Honorable mention goes to a quirky snowman I got for someone as a gift and the children's lap top that Brennan picked that just needed batteries. It was a great haul for just around 30 bucks. I could have spent more but ended up putting a bunch back.

My haul...

Well slap my ass and call me Nelly, I think I'm hooked. Let frugality PREVAIL!

Random thought process...

I realized while in my zombie-esque state driving to work this morning just how random my thought process is. I should assess my mental stability and apply for a service dog.

Imagine, if you will, my morning internal monologue...


*I'm sleepy, but I am also hungry. I just ate breakfast how am I hungry? What am I going to do for dinner tonight. I wish the kids were old enough to cook me dinner. Like a chef. They could be chef-y twins. Ugh I just remembered I have water aerobics today...should have shaved my legs. I guess it doesn't matter, maybe it will just look like they are tan. Or furry halogen bulbs...whatever. I am more worried about naked people in my personal space. Yeah! I love this song! I wonder who stole my towel last week. I should just stay home. Maybe get ice cream instead. Oh yeah, way to go Robyn, get some ice cream AND skip the gym...that's going to help your ass not jiggle when you brush your teeth. Nope, no ice cream....frozen yogurt...with fruit. That's better, right? Yeah, that's good. Yuck this traffic is horrible. Does everyone have to be on the road at this very moment in time. Hellooo, I have a schedule to keep here. If we all go the same pace at the same time, we would not be in this scenario. Yep, that's me...cutting you off. LEARN TO MERGE *&$^%! I cannot believe I just flipped the bird and its not even 8 A.M. Oh my gosh I cannot believe I let my fingernail polish get this bad. Looks gross. Hah, that's what that guy gets...the bird with grody finger nail polish. Take that to the bank. This new lotion stinks. Ugh, good lord I smell like one of the Golden Girls. Whew...I need a second opinion. It smelled good in the bottle. Aaaaand, I'm late. I wonder if it counts if I am here before my boss....crap.*

I feel like during this process I am literally on auto pilot. Like I am being teleported down Meridian, past the homing beacon of death at Krispy Kreme, through the take-your-life-in-your-hands merge from 512 to 1-5 North and suddenly...I'm at work.



Homing beacon of death...

It's actually kind of fascinating....I should be studied. But first...popcorn!

Gathering at Varsity Grill

Never mind Sleepless in Seattle, we're talking Hungry in Tacoma tonight, people. Especially if you have a couple wee tots.

Its not an illusion...kids eat free!
Varsity Grill

I won a prepaid gift card to Open Table (OpenTable.com), which is a reservation service for select restaurants in your area, at my company picnic this year. Pro: you're not restricted to the restaurant the giver has chosen. Con: you have to pick from the list on the website which does not include as many locations as you would hope. Side-bar; Hooters and Buffalo Wild Wings were not listed...color me disappointed... 

While perusing the site the one location that jumped out at me was Varsity Grill. I figured it would be a joint where we would all be able to find something we enjoyed. Turns out...kids eat FREE! No lie ladies and gentleman. Kids eat FREE all day, every day, with the purchase of an adult meal. I made our reservation for early evening and that was that.

We arrived at the spot and found parking immediately. Keeping in mind we had early reservations...I can see parking being a problem if its during the peak hours of service. Its all street parking which in downtown Tacoma (11th & Broadway) is limited. Bonus - its one block up from Commerce where there is a stop for the tram that runs through the city from the Tacoma Dome station all the way to 9th and Commerce in the theater district.

The princess enjoying her complimentary children's beverage of choice...with a bombastic cup they get to bring home :)

 

The food was overall pretty delicious. I highly recommend the deep fried macaroni and cheese, drool! The kids devoured their meals (which also came with FREE ice cream) and Ken and I enjoyed the Red Hook beer battered fish and chips. The fish was only so-so in my opinion but their french fries are to die for. The cast and crew seem friendly and our waiter even told us about the end-of-the-meal ice cream in "code" so we could opt out without a scene...pretty decent if I do say so myself.

 

All together its a nice environment for a family meal OR a group of party people getting together to enjoy a night out (holla ladies!). They have live entertainment on select evenings and a pretty stocked bar from what I could see.

 

Varsity Grill, you have my vote, three cheers...and free ice cream!

Will blog for food...

...literally.


Supplementing income, what does it mean to you?


In these economic times if you are working a normal nine-to-five and still making ends meet (comfortably) then we need to meet up for a drink...ahem, your treat.

When off-ramp "earning",  pharmaceutical testing or plasma selling are your aforementioned concept you begin to really question what your needs are as opposed to your wants. On my not so recent "path of self discovery" I have found one label I am donning...I, Robyn Smith, is a needy wanter. I can justify a want with a need for just about anything.

"Oh my gosh, these leopard print faux fur elbow warmers are magnificent! AND on sale? My elbows will never be cold again...and they go with everything! I have been dealing with some chilly olecranon processes..."

While sitting there debating on leopard print or camouflage I am actually a reasonable, and most often times frugal, person in the back of my mind. I try exceptionally hard to stay in a budget, buy within my financial medians and not max out my bank account. But every month, here I sit, worrying about money. How am I going to get groceries this month? I just bought sandals for you last summer! My daycare co-pay this quarter is how much?!

I am thinking of detouring from my current path on onto something a little more rigid and defined. Saying, "No," to the wants and really considering the needs. Not saying the occasional splurge wont take place, but there are tons of ways to save (and possibly earn) money and I am not taking advantage of any of them.

The journey to frugality begins!