Today was one for the books...
The Duo went to their dads for the evening, so I decided to treat myself to some mommy time. What better way than by letting some strange woman rub ma' tootsies with oil and make 'em pretty!
Since I had to take the kids to Kent anyway I decided against driving back to South Hill with my pre-winter man feet hanging out in some flip-flops. I asked the man child's woman where she gets her nails done, so as directed - I preceded to Elegant Nails on Kent Hill. Let me first review the joint; it's acceptable, but not some place I would consider coming back to. It's pretty clean, the people are not the friendliest of folk and although it's nice to be mindlessly relaxing, golf is not the viewing of choice for a shop visited predominantly by woman. Just throwing that out there, Elegant Nails...
First up, the pedi! It was mediocre at best; water was too hot then too cold, the lady kept staring at me like I had pulled my bottom lip up over my head only then to pass me off to another lady because she couldn't get the polish on the toe without slathering the surrounding skin. Odd, but there you have it. My toes are kind of pretty....that's all I got. I was then relocated from my comfy massage chair to a little table-y booth thing where I was greeted by possibly the nicest woman in the establishment. For the first 5 minutes she didn't say a word, was called away to a mani-crisis a couple of chairs down then came back extremely apologetic to have kept me waiting.
Nail salon banter ensues...
Girl, "You have kids?"
Me, "Yes, two 8 year olds."
Girl, "You live around here?"
Me, "No, I was just in the area dropping my kids off at their dads house up the road."
Girl, "Oooh, you not married?"
>insert sympathy head tilt here<
Me, "No, we separated many years ago."
Girl, "In Vietnam, we cannot get a divorce. We, women, are not allowed. The men have to do it but it take a long time."
Me, "That's too bad."
>insert sympathetic head tilt here to counter previously presented head tilt<
Girl, "We try for the kids, but it not always a good thing."
Me, "I agree."
Girl, "When you see the dad, you make the angry eyes?" *motioning to her eyes all Pulp Fiction style* "That what happen in Vietnam, if the two meet again they always have the angry eyes."
Me, "Ha ha, no. We had the angry eyes when we were together! Now we are friends."
Girl, "Ha ha ha, you Americans are funny. I like America...you know?"
::: brief silence :::
Girl, "You're going to be rich one day."
Me, *blank stare* "......huh?"
Girl, "You have long fingers and little nails with one BIIIG one, that mean, in Vietnam, that you will be rich one day."
Me, ".....umm...thank you?"
Girl, "Yes....I just know because, well...I just know."
So there you have it folks, all you toe-thumb haters out there better start recognizing. Fer real. I'm going to be rich one day because the lisping Vietnamese lady with the under bite said so. Yay for physical deformities being lucrative! Haters gonna hate...
...booyah.
